Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
