Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
