yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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