just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
