What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize