any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Pooping to opera.
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