I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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