Sry I called you an 8
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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