Kiss
Puke
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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