I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
