My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize