he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
