How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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