Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
