Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
