Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
babies were throwing up all over the place
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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