why didn't you poke me back
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Randomize
