Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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