My girlfriend figured out who you are.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
