Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
