very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
