I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize