I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
