If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
