He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
