Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
