I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
