and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
