You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Randomize
