'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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