I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
