he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
