just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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