You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
