haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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