We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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