Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
