Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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