im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
