Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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