i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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