My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
