And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
