they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
