Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
