I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
