shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My life is pants optional.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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