Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
