he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
