I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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