so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
