she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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