just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
