i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
