Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
