i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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