So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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