i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
