If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
so much tequila, so little girl.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize