Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
