Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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