Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize