:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
