The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just cropdusted the office
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
