It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
they need to just BURY HIM!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
