Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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