fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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