i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
