i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize