why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I need moral support for this bender
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
