it was like eating out sand paper
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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