You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
