party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
