just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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