yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The police scanner is talking about you again....
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
