I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
