Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
