just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
