I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
